Stupid Terrorists!

Update: November 16

It seems, al-Qaeda bungled these attacks even worse than I'd originally thought. A few hours after the bombings, they issued a statement taking credit for the attacks, and announced that there were four suicide bombers, including a husband/wife team. Of course, they didn't realize that the woman's suicide belt had failed to detonate in the attacks and she was still alive. And, according to the Gulf Times (hat tip Natasha Tynes) this little tidbit being made public helped the Jordanians apprehend the woman:

When Al Qaeda issued its statement the day after the Wednesday night bombing, saying that four people, one of whom was a woman, had carried out the operation, the caretaker came to believe that the bombers and the tenants were the same people.Adding to that conviction was the fact that the bombers had said they would be visiting another Jordanian city later that Wednesday and returning the following day. Despite this, the woman returned alone and in a state of agitation last Wednesday night.The caretaker informed the landlord of his suspicions, who in turn gave the Jordanian authorities the passports the four had presented to him to rent the flat.

So, thanks to al-Qaeda's premature bravado, one of their terrorists is in custody and singing like a songbird to the authorities. She's already admitted publicly to the attacks, and has probably given Jordanian intelligence all sorts of useful information about al-Qaeda's operations.


Original Post: November 12

Two days ago, four al-Qaeda terrorist suicide bombers blew themselves up in three hotels in Amman, Jordan, killing 57 people and injuring dozens more. In the bloodiest attack, a terrorist blew himself up in the middle of a wedding party in the Radisson SAS hotel, just as the Jordanian bride and groom were entering the room.

Here is the full translation of the first statement the terrorists issued the day after the attacks:

"In the name of God the Beneficent, the Merciful,
Oh God, sharpen the fire and solidify the feet,
Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and prayer and peace on the leader of the Mujahedeen, our Prophet Mohammad, and his descendents and all his colleagues.
At these blessed days, when the lion cubs of Tawheed are wrestling with the tyranny of crusaders blasphemy and the perfidy of the rejectionists [meaning Shiites] on the Land of the Two Rivers writing the epics of glory at a time of wretchedness and alienation, a group of lions from the battalions of Tawheed, most gracious of which are the martyr battalion of Barra Ibn Malik, set out on a new raid against some dens which were planted on the land of Muslims in Amman. After studying and observing the targets, the places of execution were chosen to be some hotels which the tyrant of Jordan has turned into a backyard for the enemies of Islam, such as the Jews and Crusaders, a dirty playground for the traitors of the Nation, and a safe heaven for the intelligence services of the apostates which are running their schemes against Muslims.
Despite the security measures which the traitor, the son of traitor, has provided to protect these dens, the Qaeda in Iraq organization was able to reach its targets and execute the attack. We shall reveal the details of the raid and those who carried it out later, with God's permission.
May the tyrant of Amman, and those with him, of Crusaders armies and the traitorous government of Iraq, know that they are now within the range of fire of the Qaeda of Jihad in the Land of Two Rivers Organization. Let them now have the tidings of what is saddening to them and their masters.
Allahu Akbar, and power and glory to God, His prophet and the Mujahedeen.

(Signed)
The media Section of The Qaeda Organization in the Land of Two Rivers,
November 10, 2005

Perhaps after realizing the Jordanian public was severely pissed off at them, al-Qaeda issued another statement to explain themselves a bit. According to this statement, the suicide bombers had conducted surveilance on the hotels for a month prior to the attacks, and targeted these hotels because they were a "secure place for the filthy Israeli and Western tourists to spread corruption and adultery at the expense and suffering of the Muslims in these countries," and a NATO rear-base "from which the convoys of the crusaders and the renegades head back and forth to the land of Iraq where Muslims are killed and their blood is shed."

What a bunch of idiots.....

Out of all the 57 people killed, only three of them were Americans, at least two of whom were Arab-Americans. Those two Arab-Americans were Moustapha Akkad and his daughter Rima, both of whom were attending the wedding at the Radisson. Moustapha Akkad was a Syrian-born Hollywood producer who was best known for the Halloween series of horror films. However, Akkad was also a proud Muslim who had produced such films as "Mohammed, Messenger of God", and "Lion of the Desert". At the time he was killed, Akkad was producing a film about Saladin, the Muslim general who drove the crusaders out of Jerusalem. He described his motivation for producing this film as follows: "Saladin exactly portrays Islam. Right now, Islam is portrayed as a terrorist religion. Because a few terrorists are Muslims, the whole religion has that image. If there ever was a religious war full of terror, it was the crusades. But you can't blame Christianity because a few adventurers did this. That's my message."

It's a sad irony that these "few terrorists" Akkad was referring to managed to catch up to him while he was producing this film.

Earlier today, al-Jazeera interviewed Mary Nazzal-Batayneh, one of the owners of the Radisson SAS Hotel. She said: "Firstly, news reports have been indicating that the Radisson SAS was specifically attacked because it is an American hotel. I want to make it clear that the Radisson SAS is a Scandinavian chain and owned by Palestinian-Jordanians."


The wedding the terrorists bombed in the Radisson was a Muslim wedding of Ashraf al-Akhras, a Palestinian with roots in the West Bank, and his bride Nadia Alami. The picture at left is a picture from the wedding before the terrorist bomb exploded. Of the 57 victims of this bombing, 27 of them were Palestinians, including 17 from the groom's family. The father of the bride and the father of the groom were both killed in the attacks, and the couple themselves were severely injured.

According to their statements, al-Qaeda launched this attack against "enemies of the faith, Jews and crusaders." So, let's tally up the score and see how well these idiots did against their intended targets:

• They blew up a Muslim wedding reception in a hotel that is owned by Jordanian Palestinians, and is part of a Scandinavian hotel chain.
• Almost all (or perhaps even ALL) of the victims of their attacks were fellow Muslims.
• 27 of the victims killed in the attack were Palestinians with roots in the West Bank, including 17 members of the Akhras clan (the family of the groom in the wedding).
• They killed a Hollywood producer who was in the middle of producing a movie about an Islamic hero.
• They only killed 3 Americans (two of whom were the aformentioned Hollywood producer and his daughter).

So, to summarize, these idiots launched a grand attack against "enemies of the faith, Jews, and crusaders" but managed to kill none of those folks. Instead, they killed 57 fellow Muslims and managed to piss off a whole lot of people in Jordan and the Palestinian territories who might have otherwise been behind them.

Wow, what an amazing accomplishment! If al-Qaeda is able to recruit a few more clueless terrorists like these guys, we may not have to worry about them much longer.